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02

Feb

Billion-Dollar Idea

Seriously, this idea will make you THIS much money, and THIS happy.

Ok guys, tell me if I’m wrong, but I think I’ve just come up with the Best Idea Ever. Wait for it… WAIT FOR IT… Ok here it is:

A Bikram yoga studio… that is also… A SWIM CLUB!

Let me explain to you why this is the BEST. IDEA. EVER…

Ok, think about it: what is the first thing you want to do after you kill yourself for 90 minutes in a 105 degree (or hotter!) room ? DUH, you want to dunk yourself in a freakin’ swimming pool! So here’s what I’m thinking. There will be a big lobby area where you enter, right? And to the RIGHT of the lobby will be the Bikram studio, and to the LEFT will be the amazing indoor swimming pool! 

And they’ll both be connected to locker rooms from behind!  So you can take your Bikram class, have a quick shower to rinse off (because jumping RIGHT in the pool would be gross, right? Everyone all sweaty and nasty getting right in the same pool? Euuuuw, no. Rinse yourself in the shower first, please), then jump in the pool and float float float to your pounding, over-stimulated heart’s content! Aaaaahhhh!

BUT WAIT. You know what would be REALLY great? If you could float in one of those tubey things, like at the waterpark, you know? Ommigod, what this Bikram-Studio-Pool-Club really needs is… A LAZY RIVER!!!

 

OH YEAH! Now THAT’S what I wanna do after I take a hard-as-nails, hotter than hell Bikram class! The lazy river will travel in a big circle around the perimeter of the whole studio! In front of the lobby, around the Bikram studio, behind the locker rooms, around the swimming pool, and back to the lobby! OH, we could even put up some glass ‘windows’ in the pool, lobby, and Bikram room so you could see the happy floaty people on their happy floaty tubeys! I LIKE THIS…

BUT. You know what you REALLY want after a Bikram class while you’re floating around in a lazy river? A DRINK. This studio also needs an Island Bar!

 

How ‘bout THAT?! I think it should go where the lobby meets the pool area. Yes! And the Island Bar will serve Zico coconut water cocktails, and Emergen-C shots, and fresh organic juices, all out of hollowed out pineapples and coconuts, with little paper umbrellas stuck in them! Like at the beach, you know? It will be like a Bikram Club Med! OH and maybe there will be some REAL liquor too, you know, for the REBELS, but that would have to be kept on the DL, if ya know what I mean…

OH JEEZ, and you know what you wanna do after a yoga class, and a swim, and a lazy river ride, and a cocktail, right? Yeah, you wanna soak in A HOT TUB! And what’s more awesome than a hot tub? A hot tub that’s ON A ROOF.

YES!!! And wait - why stop there?! Let’s add a heated outdoor pool that you can go in year round! (YES, these really exist! I went in one in Montreal once. It was really neat. There are lots of neat things in Montreal.) Ok, so rooftop year-round heated pool and hot tub, and…

OOOOOH, you know what would make this place ultra-relaxing and awesome? I think we’re ALL thinking the same thing here… That’s right, it’s ON-SITE MASSAGE THERAPY!

Maybe we could set up some little bungalow tents (heated in the winter, of course) outside by the pool and hot tub with luxurious massage tables and relaxing new-age music (like Yanni, but better) and hot massage dudes that would give us all rubdowns! YESSSS.

OH, and when it’s time to leave (though OMMIGOD, this place is so amazing why would you EVER leave?) wouldn’t it be cool if there were some of those full-body dryer thingies that dry you in like, two seconds?

Ok, I’m not sure these really exist. But I think they do. And if they don’t, they should. Yeah. These can be in the locker rooms, so you can quickly and easily dry yourself off after your day of being soaked with sweat and pool water, then put on your people-clothes and leave.

Now, IS THIS NOT THE MOST BRILLIANT IDEA YOU’VE EVER HEARD?!?  

Someone, make this happen. PLEASE. NOW.

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