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19

Feb

I’m Obsessed, 2.0!

Hey guys! I know, I know, we haven’t done one of these in a while! Did you think I FORGOT about you? Did you think I was DEAD? Did you think I was PREOCCUPIED AND JUST GENERALLY BEING A LAZY BUTT?

Ok, well you’d KIND OF be right on the last one… But listen! I’ve been BUSY here! I have THINGS going on! I’ve got a lot of irons in the fire, if you know what I mean. (Or is it ‘RODS in the fire’? ‘Rods ON the fire’? SHIT. Nevermind. You GET it.)

Anyway. Point is, I’M BACK. And I’M OBSESSED with a whole new slew of things (not the least of which is the word ‘slew’)! Of course I’m continuing to be obsessed with some old things, but you know, it’s mostly new stuff. So here you go tumbl-peeps, the latest and most up-to-date version of things I’m completely utterly one hundred percent obsessed with and can’t live without! And while I normally keep the list to just five things, since I haven’t done one in a while this edition has been SUPERSIZED to 10 glorious obsessions!

Oh yeah. YOU’RE WELCOME.

1. My juicer. I’ve been drinking green juice off and on for a while now, since I hear it’s quite good for you and can cure everything from a hangnail to cancer. Also, my stomach is a nightmare mess and has a tough time digesting, well, EVERYTHING. So drinking my veggies is infinitely easier on my poor poor tummy than actually eating them. And happy tummy = happy Alison!

Now while fresh pressed green juice is pretty readily available here in NYC, it’s NOT the cheapest thing going, at up to $10 a bottle (UGH!). So when it became clear that my infatuation with the green stuff wasn’t going anywhere, and I was readily handing over fistfuls of cash every day to feed my juice habit, I finally decided to just SUCK IT UP and buy a goddam juicer, already!

And I did! THIS guy!

Yeah, it was pricey. But I got it on sale. And what do I love more than green juice? A BARGAIN, THAT’S WHAT!

Anyway you guys, this juicer and I? We are in LOVE and it is SERIOUS. This thing grinds through ANYTHING you throw in it, and it shoots the pulp one direction and the FRESH YUMMY AMAZING JUICE in the other. In addition to greens, I love drinking beets and carrots and apples, pineapples, even sweet potatoes! So, so good. Yes, my juicer and I will probably be married by the end of the year. Don’t worry, you’re invited to the reception.

2. The veggie burger at 5 Napkin Burger. Step aside, soyburgers. This one is made of mostly beets!

WHAT?! I KNOW. BEETS. And you guys, it. Is. SO. FREAKING. GOOD. Trust me, I harbor no illusions that this burger is particularly HEALTHY, despite the fact that it’s made of vegetables (and barley, I think? Or millet? Styrofoam packing peanuts? I DON’T CARE), especially because I get the version that’s slathered with caramelized onions and rosemary aoli (drool), but it’s an AWESOME form of my favorite culinary subset, “Vegetarian Junk Food”. YUMMY! the only problem? I’ve eaten TWO OF these little devils in the past week. But I am not an addict, NOOO! I can quit at anytime! And THIS. MUST. END. NOW. Moving on…

3. The Chocolate Peanut Butter cupcake at Sprinkles! Do I even need to explain the awesomeness of this?! I went to Sprinkles with my friend A over the weekend, and we split one of these and OMMIGOD. My only thought was HMMM, I wonder how many more of these I could fit in my mouth right now??? I decided it was probably at least 293856. So if anyone ever wants to get me a gift, just about 6 dozen of these little guys and a fork will be PERFECT, thanks!

4. ‘Dance Moms’! Ohhhh you guys, I am not proud of this. Not proud AT ALL. It is in fact with great shame that I confess to you my obsession with the infamous Lifetime reality program ‘Dance Moms’.

I know it’s awful, I know it’s probably all staged for TV, and I know that if it’s NOT staged for TV, it’s borderline child abuse, but GOOD GOD I can’t stop watching!!!

Those moms are insane! That dance teacher is the devil! Those little kids are so damn cute and talented! BUT—and this is about to get super dancer-nerdy—has anyone else noticed that the choreography always involves tons of a la seconde turns, and fouttes, and switch leaps and acro tricks, but NEVER incorporates any illusions? Are illusions out now? Are they not a hot competition trick anymore? GOOD GOD I AM SO OUT OF TOUCH.

5. Yoga Bitch by Suzanne Morrison! I got this book as a Christmas gift, and read the whole thing one weekend recently when I was sick. It’s totally entertaining, I mean just look at the cover:

Hey, we’ve all been THERE, right guys? Just hanging out in Up Dog, doing a little Pranayama with American Spirits?

Ahem… MOVING ON…

It’s a memoir written by a 25-year-old snarky, cynical, city-dwelling, death-fearing, atheist who abandons her normal life for several months to do a yoga teacher training-slash-yoga-retreat in Bali. Now OMMIGOD DOESN’T THAT SOUND LIKE A RECIPE FOR HILARITY! Well, it kind of is… but it’s also more than that. I related in many ways to the author’s experience, although obviously, I did my teacher training in NYC. Which is pretty much the opposite of Bali. Warning: This book will make you want to go to Bali. Real bad. Thus the next item on my obsession list…

6. Bali!


I’m ready to go! Who wants to take me?!? Come on guys, the airfare is only like $1800! But once we get there, we can stay in a fancy resort for only like $50 American per night. Thank you, favorable conversion rates! I’ll brush up on my gamelan playing and start brainstorming ways to make myself look less like White American Girl! You know, so I don’t get kidnapped and sold as a slave! Does that really happen? I don’t know! But I’m willing to risk it! Come on, IT WILL BE SO FUN!!!

7. Booty shorts and bra tops! Ok, so I’ve been doing Bikram for a little over a year now. And here’s the least you need to know about that: IT IS GODDAM FREAKING HOT IN THAT ROOM. Now I am, in some ways, a modest person. Ok, so that’s kind of a lie. I’m not particularly modest, I’m just sensitive about my… oh, how you say… wobbly bits. You know, those less-than-rock-solid parts of my body that are ummm, WOBBLY. So I tend to keep them covered. Which means that for the whole first year of my Bikram experience, despite the ridiculous heat, I only ever wore full tops. Everyone else was dressed like sex workers at a brothel in Saigon, but there I was in my long shorts and my loooooong tank top. Sweating like a pig.

One day last month though, something just sort of CLICKED in my brain, and I thought HMMMM, I’ve been doing this for a year now. Maybe it’s time I get over my body image ISSUES and just show my stomach already?

And then. One day. I DID. And you guys, IT WAS NOT TERRIBLE. Not at all. So now I’m into wearing as little as possible in class. You know, things like this:

Yes, I’ve joined the Saigon Brothel of Bikram yoga girls. And I couldn’t be happier. Which brings me to my next point…

8. Yoga! Still. Again. You get it. But seriously, you guys, I’ve been doing a LOT of thinking about my practice, and I sort of recommitted and repurposed myself in the yoga realm for 2012 (Resolutions! Life changes! Goal sheets! Yadda yadda…), and bottom line, it has been going great, and my practice is changing, FAST! If this is really your thing and you want to hear more about my CONSTANT QUEST FOR SELF-REALIZATION AND THE PERFECT TRIANGLE POSE!, you can follow my other blog, you know, the yoga one. Or you can ignore. UP TO YOU! CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!

9. Ridiculously long “duster” earrings!

I was killing time in Urban Outfitters last week and I stumbled across these super-long borderline-crazy ultra-glam earrings.

And they were on sale.

FOR $5.

!!!

You guys, NOTHING at Urban Outfitters costs $5! Well, except these earrings. So you see, I couldn’t resist…

And here’s the thing: long earrings=instant glamour!

10. Scent-Elate! A and I stumbled across this little hell’s kitchen outpost one evening after yoga on our way to dinner (Veggie burgers. See #2). I heard some vaguely Eastern sounding music and smelled incense coming from the doorway, and since these are magnets for yoga girls, I was pulled in as if by a tractor beam.

As the name would imply, this place sells lots of things that smell good. Oils, incense, soaps, lotions, all manner of vaguely hippie-ish smelly stuff. It’s awesome! Even more awesome, the dude that works there will talk to you, and get a sense of your personality, and then recommend various oils and scents, and in the case of A and I, he’ll even combine and layer them to make new ones! He gave me a blend of Lakshmi and Atma, and he gave A something that made her smell like spicy orange cookies (MMM!), and told us to wait a few hours for the oils to blend with our skin, and then see if we liked them. Well, I liked mine enough to go back and buy them the very next day! It was a quick $50 to smell like a hippie, but HEY, if I had been buying Chanel, it would have been like $100 just to smell pretentious!

Besides, Lakshmi is the goddess of wealth and abundance, so really I’m considering this an investment. Who knows, it may prove a rather auspicious purchase after all…

NAMASTE! aka, THE END!